When I was very young, I lost my mother and not long after that I lost my brother too. The pain that follows cannot easily be understood by others unless they have had similar experiences themselves. It was very difficult for me to deal with and nothing I tried could fully remove the pain I felt.
Times like Mother’s Day always threw me back into the sadness and pain I had tried to push away. These feelings even affected me in social conversation because it didn’t take more than someone talking about their mother or about their siblings to bring up those negative emotions.
As much as I tried to move on, the past seemed to catch up with me.
This probably affected me in more ways than I realised. For one, I used to have periods of feeling “dreamy” or like things were “unreal”. This also affected my concentration because I used to read things or learn things but when I had to remember the content, I couldn’t quite get it. It was frustrating!